I’ve been trying to cancel my gym membership for the last month and I’ll tell you something.. I’ve never had a more difficult time doing anything like this in my life. I think an illegal alien would have an easier time getting a gun over the counter than I had canceling this fucking membership.

I had first sent them a cancellation request via -certified mail- along with a piece of mail with my ‘new’ address. this wasn’t good enough for them. they then requested more information. turns out a drivers license would be fine. I fax them a copy of that along with my request. a week later I’m told “the fax was too dark we couldn’t make out the information very well”.

After that I was fuckin steamed. I call and ask what the hell do they want, I’m not faxing it again because your going to tell me the same shit. so I tell them I’ll email a scanned copy of everything and I do. about a week later thats also rejected.

I’m about ready to go posted on these fuckers. I call them and ask whats the deal. the guy tells me that since my licenses was issued in 04 that it wouldn’t work and that they needed statements from major credit card companies. I sent them statements from mastercard and visa. I tell him, “Patrick, I sent you guys copies of a Mastercard and Visa card statement- how much more major do you want. Last I checked these are pretty major credit card companies”.

He really didn’t know what to say to which I tell him, look just get me a manager on the phone so I can get this canceled, this is getting ridiculous. after holding about 20 minutes I finally get a pretty nice lady. she couldn’t find my email so I sent it to her directly. I tell her how this has been more difficult than canceling a freakin AOL account to which she had a nice little laugh.

She accepted the documents I sent and said she’d cancel my membership. FINALLY. if she didn’t do it I would have found someone that would have. I’ve worked in call center environment for over three years- I know how that shit works.  I was prepared to say something along the lines of I know how boring your job is, you guys love to fuck with people, its about the only joy you get out of your job. I don’t blame you I did the same thing but eventually there comes a time when you just gotta hit the button. your not going to get fired for letting one customer go, god damn.

My whole deal back then was I’d rebuttal people to the point of them getting pissed off and finally hanging up. oh I had a blast. I had people so angry they’d be in tears and I wouldn’t back down. after the phone call ended I’d have a good laugh and pat myself on the back. that type of job is boring as shit, you have to do something to get you through the day. not only that but that sort of attitude in that kind of job will also get you promoted granted you keep your rebuttals professional and within policy.

So finally what it all boils down to is I spent about 500 bucks on 3 trips to an exclusive gym. nice… biggest waste of money ever.

I’m just glad I didn’t try to fake an injury to get out of my membership. I doubt the required letter from a doctor wouldn’t be enough for them. they’d probably want some sort of physical that is signed off by like 3 doctors as well as x-rays, etc. fuckin bastards.